3 New Ways To Nurture Yourself

There is something about the shift from winter towards summer that allows for a deep feeling of relief.  Everything feels lighter; we wear less clothing, we run outside barefoot with our kids, we eat fresher food.  Many things seem to slow down.

But for most of us, this doesn’t mean we are suddenly footloose and fancy free.

We still have, ummmm…all that adulting stuff to do. My life is a whirlwind these days.  I am a mom, a wife, a therapist, a Qoya teacher, an Equine therapist-in-training (starting in June), a friend, a daughter, a neighbor, a boss, and Goddess only knows what else.

Sometimes, I forget to nurture and mother myself. And I know most of the women in my life feel the same way—

So, of course, my next Qoya class on 5/18 is on….wait for it…Nurturance! And whether you can make it to Qoya or not, I wanted to take a few lines to share my thoughts on a different spin on nurturance that has made a profound impact on my life that just might make a difference for you too.

The kind of nurturance I am talking about, to be clear, is not always an easy one.

It’s about giving yourself permission to do the stuff that scares you and just might change everything all at the same time—if you give yourself permission.

This can look like moving your body differently than you’re used to, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, going on a new adventure, speaking up for yourself at work and at home, challenging old beliefs, quitting destructive habits, letting yourself cry just because you need to, and asking the parts of you that put up walls why they are afraid.

Nurturance is truly about developing an attitude of curiosity and fierce, loving and clear eyed compassion towards yourself that will not only help you but everyone else in your life.

Here are a few tricks to try:

1) Engage in embodied movement - even if it scares you

So many women have been socialized into not feeling comfortable in their bodies and even more uncomfortable moving without direct instruction. But authentic movement provides the map back to you after years of following other people’s rules.

My suggestion is, move in ways that feel good to you. This could be as simple as turning the music up and just getting wild in your living room.  Or maybe it means doing something new and a little scary, like ziplining (which I personally love) or engaging in mindful movement outside.

Regardless of what you do, authentic movement is one of the most essential ways to connect with our bodies (there’s a reason why I am so into Qoya!) and sometimes we need to take a moment to be uninhibited, wild and free.

2) Practice nurturance outside your comfort zone

Sometimes nurturing ourselves looks delicious, like taking a bubble bath and reading a good book.  But sometimes self-care means doing the hard things that we don’t want to do, but that we can lovingly nudge ourselves to do because facing the discomfort is an opportunity for growth.  Maybe that means finally booking time with a therapist, or handling the bills you’re backlogged on, or cleaning out the garage filled with memorabilia that has been too painful to look at up until now, or leaving the career that’s making you miserable.  These things are hard, but sometimes the best way we can take care of ourselves is by facing those hard things.

3) Nurture loving and honest relationships with yourself and your peeps

Practicing compassion and nurturance within your relationships can be one of the most difficult areas, but can come with the most rewards. Self-care and compassion can look like leaving a bad relationship or setting serious boundaries with people who are toxic. Or asserting yourself with a partner so you feel more supported and respected.

So many people feel like they’re being mean or will damage a relationship if they speak up and set boundaries, but this form of nurturance is about taking care of yourself so you can show up as your best and open up your life to the love you long for AND because standing sovereign in relationships is one of the most powerful expressions of self love you can practice.

Try one or many of these and let me know how it feels!  And if you need additional support in your journey, I am always a resource.  A powerful act of self-care and nurturance can be asking for help when we need it.  

Wishing you love, and the kind of fiercely loving nurturance that could change everything.